25

Less than 4 month...
25 years old

Ga nyangka gue bisa ngerasain juga kecemasan berakhir di usia 24...
Sebenernya apa sih yang perlu dicemaskan?
Nggak ada lo seharusnya
Kan sama aja dengan 23 ke 24...
Rasanya baru kemarin deh...
Gue sakit menahan batuk dan dingin di ruang UKS,,,dan kangen ngedenger suara dia...itu sih sebenernya yang bikin sakittt lebih sakit lagiii
Nggak kerasa sebentar lagi...



Dan apa sih hal-hal besar yang udah gue bikin selama 1 tahun ini???
Masih suka bertanya-tanya...

Dan apa yang udah gue selesaikan buat diri gue sendiri...
Urusan yang lama masih tetap exist,,,semakin mengakar malah...
Urusan yang baru...nggak bisa bikin perhatian gue teralih dari yang lalu...

Nggak bisa berdalih dari istilah dikejar umur...
Berapa pun bayaknya orang yang berpendapat dan kasih argumen yang jelas dan masuk akal, tetep aja sulit buat gue...

Being Happy and Single...
It's not an option,,,
It is a reality...
But can we be happy still when you are choosing to be single in life?

For the first time in my life, I finally confessed to one of my friend,.,.,
That the feeling of wanting someone to be loved cannot be converted into another feeling of loving and wanting someone else...your parents, students or friends maybe...
I am the kind of person that believe it cannot be done perfectly...
It's just different...
And again I have to confessed...
The depression is not about the person...(well in my case...it was about him always...)
But it is about the opportunity and the feeling of taking care and loving someone...

I don't want to choose that path...
It's not like I wanted to live on my self forever...

But when it came to the correct person...
I hit another wall that barrier my warm comfortable home and outer space.

It really not easy,,,facing the reality...
Being down to earth and accomplishing the conditions (from people around me)
I cannot doing that simultaneously...
It's cannot be integrated...

And I believe,,,that this journey is just the start...

I believe that the real fact is facing me way far in front of me...

That is the main thing that worried me...
Facing the fact when I feel that it will be the great time to settle...

GOD,,,please help me through this all...
I have to prove to my very own self, that I can do it...